I feel so...

Lost. Lost would be a good word to describe how I am feeling. I know who I am and who I want to become. I am just having a great deal of trouble trying to figure out where I fit. I don't know how to fit myself in amongst the kids I know because so much of my "connection" with them is forced. It's like when you're trying to complete a puzzle and you think you've finally found the piece you've been looking for, that gaping hole in the area you're trying to complete. And you try over and over and over again to try to wiggle the piece into that hole before finally admitting to yourself that it isn't going to happen. I'm trying so hard, over and over and over again, but there's still that difficulty in admitting to myself that it won't work. Why is that so hard? This just isn't going to work. I have said it now. And it's real. But I can't figure out why. I can't figure out which part of the puzzle I belong in. I can't find that hole suited specifically to my jagged edges, that perfect spot that's been waiting for me for so long. I'm questioning whether or not it exists. Maybe I'm just staring at the wrong puzzle and I need to take out a new one and start fresh. I just don't know anymore. I feel so lost.